Worth It
by theramenfreak
Summary: Karin and Toshiro discuss Momo. A little HitsuHina. . . . kinda. Spoilers for the Soul Society Arc...


Toshiro was perched precariously close to the roof's edge as he gazed up at the stars. He was lost in thought, mulling over every moment in crystal clear detail.

If he had been that one second faster, he could've stopped Aizen from almost killing Momo. She wouldn't have had to be rushed to the 4th Division's barracks under intense care. She wouldn't have suffered as much as she did if Toshiro had been that much stronger.

Next time he would beat Aizen. He would cut him down no matter the price his body paid. Hinamori deserved the kind of revenge that only he could understand. He didn't care that with so much anger and hate stored within his blade, he might not hold the position of captain steadily. Destroying the source of so much pain had become the entirety of his existence. Maybe if he could see the traitor lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood with life ebbing out of him, Toshiro would finally be able to believe that Hinamori could have the life she deserved. . .

Toshiro gritted his teeth and clenched his fists that rested on the tiled roof. He felt the skin on his knuckles grate against the rough surface and tear slightly, but he didn't care.

"Damn it, Aizen . . ." He whispered to the night, closing his eyes in frustration. As he did so, a series of memories flashed through his head like a clip from an old home video.

The sun setting behind a great hill, and the taste of watermelon in his mouth...

The scratchy material of an old blanket covering him as he shivered from the poorly shielded cold emanating from his own body...

The hot tears running down his face as he explained his plans to join the Soul Society to his Grandma...

Hinamori laughing at him when she first saw him in his oversized uniform...

Momo ruffling his hair as he attempted to insult her...

The way his heart leaped when he heard the sweet voice calling 'Shiro-chan'...

Momo's expression when she heard he was to be made captain...

The tears running down her face the night she held a sword to his neck...

Momo. . .his Momo, lying in a growing patch of her own blood...

Toshiro felt a lump rise in his throat. He was surprised for a moment. He didn't have enough fingers to count the years since he last cried. 'She's fine,' he thought, 'she's recovering now. . .'

"What's her name?"

Toshiro jumped about a foot in the air. The soft voice had come out of no where. He whirled; saw no one; then looked down.

There, sitting on the railing of her small balcony, looking up at the silent figure on the roof, was Karin.

"H-how did you . . ." He started, but he knew the answer. Toshiro had been so engrossed with his thoughts that he might not have even noticed an Espada sneaking up on him.

"Um, never mind. What did you say?"

"What's her name?" Karin asked again.

"Who says I was thinking about a girl?" He retorted defensively.

Karin looked at him oddly for a moment then hesitated before correcting herself.

"Then . . . what's his name?"

Toshiro looked at her blankly for a moment, not quite understanding why she was looking at him so weirdly, then he caught on.

"Oh! Oh, um," he cleared his throat, "no, it's not. . .she's just. . .it's not like that..." He concluded, face reddening slightly.

"Hmm..." Karin mused silently, staring out to the invisible horizon. "Funny..."

Toshiro looked down at her, "what is?"

"Well, it's just that, I never mentioned it being 'like that'..." She taunted, grinning up at him.

Toshiro took a little less time figuring out what she meant, this time.

"Hey! That was a dirty trick you . . . It's not like I want . . . shut up," he finished lamely.

"Well?" Karin asked, smirking slightly now.

Toshiro ignored her and continued staring at the stars.

Karin shrugged and was about to walk back inside, when his quiet voice stopped her.

"How could you tell?"

"Hm?"

Karin heard the soft rustling of clothes, then turned to see Toshiro crouching on the railing facing out into the night. "How could you tell I was thinking about her?"

Karin shrugged then realized he couldn't see her.

"I guess you were just so caught up that you let your guard down for a minute or two. I mean, the only thing that can do that is lo-"

"Don't say it" Toshiro cut her off.

"Don't say what?"

Toshiro was quiet for a minute.

"If you say . . . that, then it means I'll never be strong enough. . .to do what I have to do..."

Toshiro knew he loved Hinamori. It was his greatest flaw. The only one that Aizen could use against him. He could train, and continue growing in strength all he liked, but Toshiro knew that he could never stop loving Momo. If he heard this confirmed by someone, Toshiro knew that he may as well give up fighting.

Karin was silent for a minute. If it weren't for her lack of footsteps or the strangely high level of reiatsu she possessed, Toshiro might have thought she had gone back inside.

"Are you serious?" She asked, eventually breaking the silence. "You're not strong enough?"

"I have . . . powerful enemies..." Toshiro muttered.

Karin snorted in contempt at his lame excuse.

"Oh, c'mon, get real, Toshiro!" She had raised her voice a little and was staring at him incredulously. "Ichigo's told me about you. Apparently, you're the youngest captain or something in history. Surely you didn't bluff your way to the top?"

"Karin, I-"

She didn't wait for him to finish, "I mean, seriously! I'm pretty sure my brother would've died a few times without your help! And I'm not even mentioning a few of the stories Ichi-nii told us when he got back from the Soul School or City or whatever!"

"Karin! Really, you don't-"

"And then there's the small fact that your some child prodigy or some-"

"KARIN!"

She stopped.

"Like I said before," He started, determined to make her see him point, "None of those are good enough reasons. My enemies are the some of the strongest in the-"

"You didn't hear the last one" Karin almost murmured.

"What?" Toshiro sighed, standing up and shunpoing to the roof. He was walking at a 45 degree angle towards the tip, when Karin's words made him pause.

"You're in love"

Toshiro didn't turn. Instead, his voice was infused with anger. "How could that possibly help? Didn't I tell you before? That only makes me-"

"Stronger!" Karin interjected, "How many times do I have to tell you, Toshiro? True strength isn't the amount of muscles you're packing or how much spiritual hocus pocus stuff you have! True strength is what you use to fight for someone!"

Toshiro still hadn't turned, so Karin couldn't see his reaction to his words. She decided to press on.

"If this is what you truly want, Toshiro; to protect this girl; then she, whatever her name is, defiantly is the safest person on this planet"

Now, after saying everything she felt was necessary, Karin began to open her door.

"Hinamori. . ."

The whisper that came from Toshiro's turned back was barely audible, but Karin knew it was meant for her.

She paused. "Sorry?"

"The girl. . . her name is Hinamori. . .Momo Hinamori"

Karin studied Toshiro as he stood on the roof of her house, confiding his deepest fears to her.

"It sounds pretty," she said after a moment.

"She is"

Karin smiled, "I'm glad you finally believe me. Just don't go getting yourself killed out there, will you, though?"

Toshiro didn't reply, however Karin needed none. Silently, she slipped between the wall and door and quietly returned to her room.

Only once Toshiro was sure Karin was gone, he let himself whisper:

"She's worth it. . ."


End file.
